Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Burgers ***

by the Belgium Poetician,
Marion Butler


Bilderbergers, Bilder--burgers
do they come with fries ?
They serve to us cheap mayonnaise
and hope we'll swallow lies.

Rocky-fellow and Wrath's child
are members of the group
those claiming royal descent
do steer this evil loop !

For a pittance they do make us work
then our monies they steal.
Do they know morality ?
What is it they feel ?

They sit in mansions warm and large
and cause the banks to crash.
They say 'financial crisis'
But that is utter trash.

This 'crisis' has been engineered
To make us live in fear.
Whilst they so blithely rob us
of all that we hold dear.

For eons this has happened
whilst we have bowed in pain.
Now is time to stand up straight
Not let it happen again.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Frazzled ! ***

Do you ever get frazzled trying to get done all that needs doing; trying to stay on your schedule? Some days its just a matter of juggling a bit and carrying on!

Friday, March 19, 2010

I Am So Lazy ***

Just can't get up the energy to think or write, so again today it will just be a giggle passed on to you.

Church prayers...

"Anyone with 'needs' to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar", the Preacher said.

Leroy stood in line and when his turn came, the preacher asked: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied: "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger in Leroy's ear and he placed the other hand on top of Leroy's head and prayed and prayed and prayed. Lord how he prayed for Leroy - and the whole congregation joined in with enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy said, "I don't know, Reverend, my hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Quotes That Made Me Laugh ***

Who's Homer Simpson? A question such as this on a test I would surely fail the answer. Not being into the 'needing to be entertained' mode, apparently I have missed much; I know this when the children speak. And yes, I can remember hearing "The Simpsons" as I passed by the television.

I remember it was a tv show/cartoon and wasn't there a kid on the scene - Bart? - and I can remember the merchandise on shelves of stores I was shopping at...mostly yellow and blue color scheme for the family, weren't they...blonde haired? Funny?

Well, remember or not, it doesn't matter. Finding all these quotes by Homer this morning, I feel they will surely give you a grin, and that's what I'm aiming for.

All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things!

Trying is the first step towards failure.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

In Regard To Our Libraries in the US ***

..."libraries that your tax dollars pay for and speaking of libraries, in
the United States alone over 4,000 of them have had to close their doors
in the past two years alone"...!

Monday, March 15, 2010

A smile gives your face a beautiful look ***

A famous trial lawyer was asked to apologize to the court for some remarks he had made.

With dignity, he bowed to the judge and said, "Your Honor is right, and I am wrong, as Your Honor generally is."

The judge never figured out whether he should be satisfied with this remark or cite the lawyer for contempt of court.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Two old guys Are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart When they collide.

The first old guy says to the second guy, 'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, And I guess I wasn't paying attention To where I was going.

The second old guy says, 'That's OK, it's a coincidence.. I'm looking for my wife, too...' I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate'

The first old guy says, 'Well, Maybe I can help you find her...What does she look like?' '

The second old guy says, 'Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, With red hair, Blue eyes, Long legs, And is wearing short shorts...What does your wife look like?'

To which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours

Friday, March 12, 2010

Useless Information...? ***


In 1995 a fossil, later to be named Gerobatrachus , was discovered in Texas. When it was gradually removed from its rock and taken to be studied it was shown to be a missing link between frogs and salamanders. It had always been assumed that they shared a common ancestor but this was the first fossil to have been discovered that showed the link. Jason Anderson from the University of Calgary declared the fossil to be a ‘perfect little frogamander’.

Monday, March 8, 2010

My kids are such a**holes - funny

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said
to them, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some
machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, pull the plug."

They got up, unplugged the computer and threw out my wine.
They are such a**holes

Flowers Are Ready To Go ***

Working a bit in the flower beds over the weekend I found many of my hybrid Daylilies, Jonquils(peach and yellow), Siberian Iris, hybrid Iris, ajuga rubitan, are peeking through the soil. If you like the common orange lily that grows everywhere, pictured at top. I have them also.

It is time to start digging and packing them for shipment. They will be securely wrapped cushioned in shedded paper. Lilies are easily grown. With your shipment is information how to plant and care for them. Each plant fills a space of 6-7 inches and doubles in size the 1st year. They will proliferate.

As I have told you about my crashed computer, it is impossible to show my individual blooms presently but showing are ones I have or similar to. Below is a list of the lilies I grow (I didn't lose it!). There are hundreds of variety with a thousand names and the colors span the color spectrum, even blue which is sometimes claimed doesn't exist. My supplier had blue ones. To my great disappointment, when I went to buy this variety, I found them gone, flowers, trees, bushes, them and all! A real puzzle for me!

The husband and wife team were from Ohio and built up a beautiful nursery, home, barn, greenhouses on a flat 10 acre piece of farmland over in S V ...and oh the soil! Perfect! (You'll find I ponder and crave soil a lot...I have fabulous dark soil too...about 10 feet down under the boulders I set/sit upon.) Charles and Betty were dedicated, hard workers. I so admired their abilities and could have strolled the fields forever. The valley is gorgeous.

I sell the lilies @ $7 each + shipping at the cheapest rate available. Buy 5 or more at $6.00 each.
There will be no choices as there are no flowers to identify by yet but if you order several, each will be lifted from a different area. What you get is what you get but you will be very pleased when your choice begins to bloom. I have several colors and varieties.

Lilies bloom from late May into November. I think they will grow in all zones. You can soon have a "Picture" of a flower garden. Email me and we will work out the logistics.

When the lilies begin blooming, shipping ends. Lilies are then offered locally; potted and blooming.

Hemerocallis is a genus of hardy, long-lived perennials related to Lilies. The buds open in series, but a flower lasts only a day, giving the plant its common name, Daylily. By growing different varieties, you can enjoy blooms from mid-June until frost in a rainbow of colors Daylilies grow vigorously, hinder weeds and generally free from pests and disease...thrive in full sun or light shade and tolerate many types of soil.

My Daylilies:

Leprechaun's Wealth
Lullaby Baby
Orange Vols
Palace Guard
Pandora's Box
Pardon Me
Siloam Red Ruby
Delicate Design
Knick Knack
Lady Lucille
Party Queen
Golden Chimes
Touched by Midas
Crimson Shadow
Desert Princess
Mauna Loa

Monday, March 1, 2010

What Not to Name Your Dog ***

Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". Now, Sex has been embarassing to me. When I went to call City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too" Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had sex since I was nine years old". He said I must have been quite a kid!When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night" The clerk said, "Me too".One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him that I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets! "But you don't understand", I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV. He called me a show-off.When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your HONOR, I had Sex before I was married". The Judge said, "Me too". Then I told him that after I was married Sex left me. He said, "Me too!"Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him around town. A cop came over to me an asked, "What are you doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I replied, "I'm looking for Sex". My case comes up Friday.