Quotes That Made Me Laugh ***

Who's Homer Simpson? A question such as this on a test I would surely fail the answer. Not being into the 'needing to be entertained' mode, apparently I have missed much; I know this when the children speak. And yes, I can remember hearing "The Simpsons" as I passed by the television.

I remember it was a tv show/cartoon and wasn't there a kid on the scene - Bart? - and I can remember the merchandise on shelves of stores I was shopping at...mostly yellow and blue color scheme for the family, weren't they...blonde haired? Funny?

Well, remember or not, it doesn't matter. Finding all these quotes by Homer this morning, I feel they will surely give you a grin, and that's what I'm aiming for.

All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Trying is the first step towards failure.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.

Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.

Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!