For the past few months nothing much has happened. I've stayed silent. On the other hand, it seems there has been not an extra minute to spare to do what I need to do. Sleeping takes up so much of my time. What is going on I haven't a clue; only the fact I can barely hold my eyes open within an hour of being on my feet. Staggering around (No, :) I'm not drinking!) and bumping off the walls, I see the concern in the dogs' eyes at times. Maybe it isn't really concern for me and that they are worried that the next meal may not arrive. Actually, twice they didn't get their meal all day; only late evening did I recall I hadn't fed them properly. We mostly just share a peanut butter sandwich or some crackers with whatever is handy and on hand. Yet, they don't seem to mind waiting until I gather my wits and make a meal of kibble and bits, all mixed with the beef and broth I canned for them back in the early fall. That's the trickiest way I've found to get them to eat that commercial stuff.
Life is all a matter of hibernation this time of year; just waiting for the bitter winter to pounce down on me. I don't go outside unless absolutely necessary, day in and day out; neither do the dogs. Every 7-10 days it becomes a matter of necessity for a trip to town. I put that off as long as possible for the 20-30 mile drive leaves me exhausted and bound to fall onto the bed for a long spell.
I read there is a winter blast on the way soon. Yet it is 70F on this first day of winter, although the sky is black and heavy. Ha, I'm going to keep my fingers crossed and maybe I won't get any of that shrilling chill. I'm not prepared, in case the power goes out and the heater used over several years to comfort the dogs is about to expire. No candles, batteries and such on hand just in case. Yet here I sit!
For five weeks I've worked on a quilt for the 3 year old great grandson, just knowing it would be finished by Christmas. Not to be; maybe by year 2025 when he turns 15. I exist with high hopes - always. Maybe I never get one thing finished but I live with plans to do so. That's credible ...isn't it? Using needle (not a machine) to make this patchwork cover has proven that I am rusty; practically frozen. Borrowing a needle threader from Anna sped matters 1000%. That thin wire has about worn out though, having been used umpteen times by now. Have driven needles into fingers dozens of times too. D@#@%! Ouch. Yesterday I drove the point of LARGE scissors into one of my necessary fingers. Talking about blood! I have an abundance of it. My eyes are flagging also. Guess I'm bound to see the eye doctor before long. Driving is becoming a problem too; I see double or not at all and "not at all" can be quite hazardous, you know. Do cataracts return?
I've given the quilt a name. Remember Dolly Parton had a coat of many colors? Lane's quilt is named "Quilt of Many Colors"; about 400 different swatches I've put on so far. Wanted the little boy to experience the feel of different fabrics and colors. Damn me and my nutty ideas; cotton velvet is thick and so hard to get a needle through it and that silky fabric ravels a lot. It is good I tested that beautiful piece of royal red wool for color fastness - it bled gallons of red dye; wound up forgetting it as it turned out a nasty blotty pinkish white. It was salvaged from a $500 name-brand coat/jacket; ah, how they practice to deceive. Yet garments such as this aren't supposed to be washed, only dry cleaned. Have a few pieces of wool I never thought to shrink sewn in also; ah, well, nothing stays perfect forever. Life is a shrinking process!
Well, the sky has started leaking down on me, so it is a good time to go back to bed, I'm thinking. Awake since 3 am, I'm beginning to feel the need for a snuggly nap.
This past week has been traumatic, to say the least. My friend/sort of family died. She had been released from the hospital after a month's stay there, returned to the nursing home. Insurance wouldn't cover her staying away any longer. Two days later on Friday before last she was found dead sitting upright in the wheelchair. Rescue called and she was rushed to the local hospital. They had no facilities for helping her. Rushed 20 miles to bigger hospital and got compressed. Kathy is now alive after being dead for 30 minutes - brain scan showed brain-dead/flatlined. Well, what can we expect her quality of life to be from now on! This past Wednesday, my anger at seeing her condition, I would have, IF I'd been her overseer, compassionately unhooked her from all her wiring. So very hard seeing a human being in such a state. Yet I went to see her this past Friday and she was awake and alert, angry that no one could understand her pleas. I did somewhat; this made her happy. A gentle foot massage and wet sponge to ease the parched mouth pleased her greatly. The male nurse informed her she had died! Dang, was this his place to do this? I questioned her later and I received some amazing information, though having to read her lips. The ventilator prevents sound for the time being. What she said, as she started to bawl, confirmed fully that ones who have died did have unexplainable experiences. Much research is being done regarding NDEs. I have no doubts this happening; it did for my dad, a niece, an uncle and an in-law aunt. Their accounts were told without any outside urging. Life sure is a mystery, at times. No doubt about that.
If you don't hear from me again before the holidays, I'll say now MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR to You.
Now what is it to be, a nap or go make cookies? Or shall I sew a bit or maybe bring out my paints and brushes? I'm so wishy-washy! I vacillate and ponder, think and decide, then vacillate some more. Ah, to heck with it all; I'm going to lie down awhile.
Take good care of yourself and don't overeat on the sweets.